Spring Conference

Remember how we had a conference for Thanksgiving in November and all of the teachers with ESI got together? Well, we got together again. Last time everyone came to us, and this time, we went to everyone. We flew to Dà Nẳng, where most of the others teach, and drove to Hội An. Both of those cities are on the coast in the middle of Vietnam.

They are really beautiful and have mountains and beaches. I'm not going to lie, it was really beautiful and cooler, less traffic, and my eyes weren't red when I took my contacts out. My skin didn't even shed layers of gray skin like when I'm in HCMC. But, more than that, it was so great to see everyone. Here are some of my favorite things about conference:

Hanging out. Speaking English. Appreciating sarcasm. Laughing. Taking pictures. Our hotel room in Hội An! Steph and I shared a room with two small beds pushed together and a bathtub in the middle of the room. No one else's room was like that. I'm going back some day and requesting that room.

Of course the food was excellent. And I especially appreciated the shopkeepers and peddlers (can I say that?) who would speak Vietnamese with me.

Kristen and Lance. I'm kind of obsessed with them. I HATE that they live so far away and this is only the 2nd time all year that I have gotten to see them. I feel like we have a lot in common and that I've known them for a lot longer than I really have. They make me laugh, and feel right at home.

Suz and Liz. They are hilarious. They wore matching shirts every day. They don't even talk about it; they just do it. They're real and honest, down to earth, funny. One day they let me in on what shirt to wear, and I was excited all morning to show up to the meeting matching them.

This is a toilet that I used while I was there.We played fun games. I can't really explain them. Great group of funny people.I got to ride with Suz and Liz on Liz's motorbike. We rode three people! I haven't done that before and people pointed and laughed at us. I mean, some Vietnamese people do it all the time, but we are bigger than most of them... I'm really not finished listing off my favorite things, but I don't have very many pictures. Steph and the Bakers, you need to hurry up and post some pictures so I can steal them!

My Pet 4 Class

This class is a big challenge for me, but they have MAJOR PERSONALITY. Everyone is a character. I don't remember if I've talked about them before, but before class starts, they are running up all three flights of stairs, with walkie talkies, or hiding someone's shoes, or rigging something on top of the door to fall on me...

I split them into teams and the teams had to act out an action for another teammate to guess. This row of boys just sat in the back and pointed their fingers over and over (the action was "point your finger"). No one was guessing it, but they didn't try anything else, just kept pointing.

This next video is as the game progressed. They were doing fine, but when I looked at this video, I realized how much they were cheating! They're actually spelling out the actions! And some of them, I'm not really sure what they're doing. Welcome to my class.

Happy Birthday Ginny

We had a birthday party for my student Ginny. The students collected money from everyone and bought a cake and asked me to find a birthday song and come in a little early. I find that most everyone here knows how to organize. Two students bought all of the drinks and they served me first.
Oh, and I brought my bunny ears (thank you Erin and Kris) and they were quite a hit. I wanted the birthday girl to wear them, but she refused... This is Nina, who is actually in a different class, but sometimes she comes in to talk to me before class starts. I don't know of anyone who would look cuter with these on.They said, "Teacher, cut the cake with Ginny." So I just stood there. Not really sure what they wanted me to do.Ben helped me set up the vcr for a little video clip. His English is excellent. His parents give him a little bit of money to help tutor his sister in English. They took this picture and he yelled, "Xấu Quá!" (so ugly!) I'm not sure what he meant by that...This is Ben. His eyes kind of remind me of Russell's, but not really in this picture.

Blogging Continued

I've just been doing so well with blogging, that I decided, Why stop now? So, I'm going to update you on three pretty exciting things that happened to me in the last few days...

Here I am with the late flowers on Buy Myself Flowers Day. They were pink and white and they were perfect. I asked Erica to take my picture. And then a really weird commercial came on t.v.


We were waiting for bus #10 on Sunday morning. Sometimes if the bus is already pretty full, the bus driver won't even look over at us and zoom past, no matter how vehemently we are waving. That is annoying. So on this particular morning, the bus ignored us, so we were waiting for a while outside of the "Medicaid" little convenience store. Today there was a girl standing in the front with a sash, so I decided to go get my picture with her.

We tried to talk for a few minutes and she was working with this company for a "slimming" tea that you drink to lose weight. She looked me up and down and then offered me a pamphlet. Her name is Hoa (which means flower) and we exchanged numbers and she has already texted me to come with her to Dà Lạt or go out for coffee.

Then on Sunday afternoon, I went to a restaurant with Janell, Aletta, and their Russian friend Elaina (my friend too! though I probably spelled her name wrong). Then Janell spilled the salt and pepper all over the table.

These are just some exciting things that have happened to me recently. Shout out to Janell. Holla-- Nice nails!

Trúc

Here is another video for your enjoyment. This is Trúc, which is kind of pronounced like 'chewp'' with a rising tone. She's funny. She sells this amazing noodle soup and wontons. I tried talking with her in the beginning of our time here and she's been a pal ever since. We commnicate with my broken Vietnamese and her hand gestures.

Recently, she has been pulling out a notebook and asking for me to pronounce some words for her. She is great fun, but her pronuniation is atrocious. I have actually never experienced anything like it. I will tell her a word and she will respond with something that sounds NOTHING like what I said to her. I'll try to get that on video next time.

I'm not making fun of her. She's on my list of favorite people. She always takes me home when it's late, and she has the coolest, girly, but seriously awesome motorbike and I sit on the back wearing the extra helmet, which also happens to be an army hat. And she forgets about the speedbumps at my apartment every time, which is hilarious, and less painful then it is nervewracking because it feels like her little motorbike is going to fall over.

This is Trúc telling me that Erica speaks too fast and she can't understand.

I MISS YOU!

OOOOOH! Laura! It was SO great to talk with you! Or maybe it wasn't...because it made me miss you so much. But, just hearing your voice and sharing stories like always made the thousand miles between us disappear. It also put me at ease that you haven't moved on and replaced me with some random Hawaiian girl. I would have to beat her up (and I think we both know that would be really scary, so maybe you could help me fight her?)



For the rest of you, I'm referring to Laura (duh): Best Friend. College Roommate. Sharer of the most wonderful memories. Closer than any sister (that shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings because my mom didn't give birth to any other girls).



This seems like a tacky response to my roommate and I struggling, but I promise it's not. Things would be so much worse if it weren't for Laura. She has taught me so much about living with and loving people. She's one of the best listeners I know, and shares my sorrows and joys with me in a way that makes me want to be more compassionate, more empathetic. She is generous with everything she has, (and sometimes with my stuff too) and it makes me want to be less selfish. She loves people with intensity and vulnerability. I want to love like that!



She is an excellent teacher and I want to be an excellent teacher. She makes me do things that scare me. She tells me things that are hard to say. She is teaching me how to be a bettter friend. I've got a lot to learn.

Please don't be mad at me and my stalker tendencies. I totally took some pictures without telling you... In the first one, you were talking to James. And the last one, you were saying goodbye. The rest are anyone's guess. They are the Laura that I love so much!

Laura Joy! You bring more joy into my life. I LOVE YOU!

Don't forget that I said I loved it here!

I hope I haven't scared everyone. I didn't mean to sound too despairing, but we just seem to have found a very frustrating cycle that we can't seem to break. And I thought it was time to let everyone know. A plea, really.

But actually the past month has been fantastic (You would know that if I ever sent out newsletters on time..)! I am really enjoying teaching and look forward to it every day! I've had some long conversations in Vietnamese (with many many motions, a dictionary, and pen and paper) that make me feel so accomplished!

I haven't made too many new friends recently, but I have been able to get to know the friends I have more and more. Wow, I have been so fortunate with the friends I have. They are all so laid back and funny and generous (I seem to attract those kinds of friends wherever I go!)!

Tú was my teachers' aid a few times in September and October. She's great. She works and she is a student so it is hard for us to get together, but we exchange text messages. On April Fools' Day, I sent her a message telling her that I hated her and my hair is on fire.

She responded telling me that she doesn't like my ugly blonde hair anyway and she hates me more (I promise we're really friends). Then she laughed and said, "ah, but carolyn, i will stop working at VATC because my study is very hard. My health is not enough for me to continue (CLASSIC Vietnamese excuse). But don't worry I will usually contact with you. Sorry, don't angry me! I will miss you."

I said,"ok, stop. Are you serious?" And she led me on for a long time before texting me, "today i win 100 percent hahaha :P."

She's just great. This video is from tonight when I brought some apple pie for her to try. She hated the smell and hated the taste even more. I'm narrating that she's eating the apple pie, and she's just mumbling to herself, saying "trời ơi," which most people translate as "oh my god," but I just looked it up and my dictionary says-blast! I like that.

The struggle

Ok Folks, here it is. I've been thinking about writing this blog for a long time now. I actually can't believe that I'm writing it now. Maybe I will never publish it.

Living in Vietnam is not hard. I don't want to brag, but I really feel like I was created for this. I love it. I love living here and meeting people and trying to speak the language. It was not a difficult transition, adjustment, whatever people ask about. I miss some people, but for the most part, I love living here.

However... I think we all know that the devil knows where we are weak. And I try not to be too cynical, but I also take it as a compliment that the devil cares enough about me to find out just how I will struggle the most and to attack me. The first weakness would be men, and the nun-like existance we have here. We're lonely for male friends and Vietnam welcomes us with open arms, a plethora of men my age, motorbike driving, overly complimentary, gaze-at-me-for-hours-because-they-have-nothing-better-to-do-maybe, eager husbands in waiting. But that's actually another blog for another time. It is not my greatest struggle at the moment. Just a temptation that is there, like a stalker who is willing to wait--and that's actually more of a true story and less of an anology...

My confession is something that I really thought I could work through. I thought we weren't pr@ying enough, we weren't talking through enough, we weren't being honest enough. We are having problems living together. I KNEW that living with someone would be hard. I think I even knew that it might be my greatest struggle. But I never could have imagined how hard it really is.

And there's something else going on here. There HAS to be. We have acknowledged that we believe there is spiritual warfare here, in this country. In this apartment. I don't like talking about things because of that whole, "talk to, not about" idea. But that theory doesn't work here. If we're angry with each other and we can't get anywhere arguing, than we're not talking about it.

There are feelings of resentment and hatred here. Bitterness and jealousy. Fatigue. Hopelessness. I have never had problems that I thought were unsolvable, but over 6 weeks left of living together brings me to tears. Each week brings stronger arguments. We hurt each other, then we cry and pr@y and hope to get through another week.

We don't know what to do. We don't even know how to ask for help. Thanks for your pr@yers.

Chúc Mừng Ngày Lẽ Phục Sinh (Happy Easter)

You might be wondering what has happened to Oanh lately. Well she's fine. We were meeting every day for a while, but she's a lot of enthusiasm for every day, so maybe a couple times a week. A few times she brought her friend Thắm. I like her a lot. She speaks slowly and clearly and she's just a lot of fun. She also has a really wonderful smile. I knew Oanh and Thắm were coming over, so I went and bought some duck and chicken eggs (I got both because I didn't know which was better...?). Erica and I looked for food coloring last week without success, but we didn't need it because we had stickers, markers, and glitter. After decorating, we poked holes in the eggs and blew out the yolk, a practice I had a small obsession with as a kid (you can ask my mom).And I took pictures and tried to capture everyone at their best.

I've had French toast every day since we did this. And Dawn brought us some Maple syrup, so, fantastic.

Earrings

Notice the mole with a hair on it that Thắm drew on the face. I thought that was great.

I set the timer and we all took a picture. Both doors were open, so that is my explanation for my super wind-blown look I've got going on. I didn't even notice Thắm's shirt coming up a little until she looked at the picture and said, "Oh! So sexy!"

We enjoyed an Easter brunch at our fellowship and pigged out in celebration. It didn't feel like Easter. Can I say that? I was on yahoo and one fo my friends here sent me a message over chat (yahoo chat is the cool thing in Vietnam, everyone who's anyone...). He wanted an explanation of the name Easter. Phục Sinh means 'to revive, to resusitate (ressurect, perhaps?).'

So, I told the Easter story to someone who had never heard it before. I've never done that before. That was cool. His last reaction was, "he alive? thats wonderful!"

Just a little something

I don't have time to write anything meaningful/ heart-warming at the moment. But if you're just waking up and checking my blog (because of course that's what all of you do the second you wake up) and you need a laugh, this is what I have.

First, a shout out to Jillann. Woot! I had no idea that you read my blog. That's so exciting. I strive for mine to be as funny as yours and to really be from my heart like yours, not just a random pointless view of life through my eyes. You are awesome.

Second, I went with my friend Phượng and bought Vietnamese jeans. No I'm not kidding. I'll just let the mental image of that do the job for now. When I take them off, I have to pull them off completely inside-out. Those are my jeans now. I own them. No, I'm still not kidding. I haven't exactly worn them in public yet, and it may be a while, but I have them.

Thirdly, here is a picture of my student Rose #1. She just came up to me and made that face. So of course I made her do it again. And then I slapped her on the back to see if her face would stay that way...

Boy, I had a blast with Phượng though (and I never tire of spelling her name correctly). We got our hair washed and I got a trim too. We rode around, shopped a little, visited some of her friends, and then she took me to eat oysters and snails and chicken feet. I don't think there was a whole lot of purpose to the chicken feet though, we just kind of gnawed on them. Is there a word for those by the way? It's "chicken feet", right? Claws? Talons?

And here is a video. I tried to capture the traffic, but I don't think I really accomplished it. She is a great driver and I trust her with my life (I mean, if I didn't, I wouldn't ride with her).

Phượng Again

This is Phượng. She is our friend. She is our neighbor and our landlady's daughter. Her daughter Jenny has been alive in Vietnam about one week longer than us. It's an easy way to keep up with her age.

She is definitely one of my favorite people here. She lives on the 14th floor and we live on the 10th. She admitted to me the other day that when she gets in the elevator, she always presses 10 and 14, just out of habit now. She just peeks out to see if we're home (door is usually open, shoes outside) and then goes up to her apartment.

She randomly comes and visits. Her visits are always unexpected, quick, and so great. When I see Jenny, I always ask her if she missed me, and Phượng will reply for Jenny, "No." But I hadn't seen them in a few days last week and Phượng sent me a text saying that Jenny was waiting on my question, and she is going to say yes!

Oh, and Laura! Phượng was going through some of my stuff and she found a letter from you in my Biblia. She read it and had me explain some of the words and some of the references (hammocks in our dorm room, farmers' muffins, our last house, marvelous times...). So I told her all about everything (ok, not everything. that would take years), and she loved it all. I went to work with her yesterday and she told me that she was thinking about me and you and it made her "smile so much!" And she's been trying to mouth words to me for days...

Advice in Vietnam

Now, I should preface with how regimented the Vietnamese are. I think they have been doing many things the same way for a long time, so some things are just understood to be either GOOD for your health or BAD for your health. We do a lot of things here that are on the bad list, such as eating a non rice food for breakfast...

Many of the Vietnamese do the same thing, eat the same thing, say the same things, every day. I don't want to stereotype, but it seems to me that most people take a nap during the day. Most people seem to eat four meals a day, usually including a lot of rice. Most people seem to drink a lot of coffee and/or tea. Most people seem to not sleep many hours during the night. Aaaaand, most people are skinny. Where's the pattern?

I didn't finish my dinner the other night, and we were walkig home from school, when one of my students said, "Oh teacher, don't eat that very late or you will get fat." I've heard people say that before. Whatever. I keep walking and a friend wants us to stop and talk. I don't want to, so I say that we must go home and sleep.

"If you sleep too much, you will get very fat," said my friend. That's a new one. Ok. Dually noted. You have to be pretty careful here or the fat will sneak up on you somehow.

I get home and I get a call from Steph and Brittany. We discuss flights and at the end of the conversation, they tell me that Brittany just took a shower (about 10pm) and was told that it was not good for her health. When she asked Why? She was told, "I don't know... but be careful."

Mekong Delta

I just love all of your comments! And I am so thankful that I am going to continue blogging. At least for today.

A few weeks ago, Steph and Brittany came down south from Biên Hoà (which is actually also in the south of Vietnam) and we went on a tour of the Mekong Delta. It was kind of expensive, but we are rarely tourists and it came with good recommendations.



We hated it. Honestly, we were the worst tourist ever, and maybe this would be a fun tour for someone who doesn't live here, but... We just felt insulted at every turn, bored, and each activity was described longer than it actually lasted.


Here is one of the many boat rides. It was pretty, but... I don't know, maybe it was the combination of the four of us, that mob mentality... We're such snobs. It felt like they moved us from boat to boat to sell us different things. We just all have too much pride to be talked down to all day long.

They told us that we were going to a "bee farm", then they walked us to a box and let us hold up these drunk bees. Then they made us drink tea with honey in it, and tried to sell us bottles of honey.

We watched people making coconut candy for 5 minutes, then they tried to sell us coconut candy and handicrafts for 20 minutes. Then back on the boat. Here is Brittany having a better attitude than me.

They translated words that we knew and told us interesting things that I think are lies-- such as the water is clean. They fed us a glorified meal that we eat every day on the street (except way more expensive here) and charged us extra for a drink. Then it was warm coconuts on the boat.

They brought these people over to sing for us while they introduced us to all the "interesting local fruit:" bananas, mango, and pineapple. These people did not look happy at all about singing to us. I hear myself! It's terrible. I complain too much. We did have a good time together, but we were mostly laughing at ourselves and our situation.

I think they were trying to show the beauty of Vietnam to foreigners. But in the process, they stripped it of everything that we have come to love. We don't like being hassled to buy at every turn, or have people serve us with contempt. We love these people because of how caring and gernerous they are. How personal. How honest. How they treat everyone like family. And instead, they put on a show for us. And it was a disappointment.

I did, however, have a snake thrust around my neck. And that was kind of exciting.

I don't know if this video will play, but our guide was a tad annoying. I hate to say that. I'm sure other groups love her, but we tried to talk with her and explain that we live here, and she just continued with her scripted jokes and songs.

Now, I know that when you see this video, you'll take her side. She's likable, she really is! But, she never quit. Please understand where i'm coming from. I sing childrens' songs until I can't do it anymore. I didn't think it was funny or cute that she kept singing them to us. She got 'If you're happy and you know it' in my head for hours!

elephants in the room

I would like to share a little about Vietnamese culture with you all. Because it often seems like everyone around is one big family, there is a lot of openess about things that I would deem private. For example, if there is any kind of 'elephant in the room' (not literally, I'm in the city, don't start any rumors), it is said outloud.

So, if your face has something on it, like a cyst (for example, the one on my face), someone might point to it and say, "Oh my god, that is so ugly (pretty much word for word translation)." Or if your face happens to break out a smidge ( don't tell Erica I told you this), someone might bring over some face cream and mime how to rub it on your face.

It's an interesting concept. Kind of embarassing sometimes. And I admit, sometimes kind of a relief to have everything out in the open. If there are single men around, no time is wasted in awkwardness, we are asked straight away, "Husband? You want this husband? He is a good man." In fact, most people seem to want to help me out of my single situation. Very kind of them to help.

I am learning to accept the things that they don't mind asking. In the beginning, if someone asked my age, a bystander might hit them and tell them that it's rude to ask an American that. I tell them that it's fine. I DO NOT MIND that question. They don't hesitate to ask other questions such as, "What is your salary per month?" "How much is your rent?" "Why are you fat?" "How long do you wait until you kiss a boy, one hour? (curse American movies)(That's another story though) "How much do you weigh?"

One of my favorite people in this country is Yen (I've been spelling her name wrong for months and she never corrected me. But her email address has YEN in it, and I was confused. She doesn't speak English, but she is an amazing communicator. I canNOT tell you how wonderful it feels to go spend time with her and feel like we're communicating! The other day I brought my dinner into her shop and sat down. She told me that the firework festival (or competition, i didn't say I understood everything) in Da Nang City was on tv. So we watched the fireworks with classical music in the background.

So, in this seemingly unrelated story, I was hanging out with Yen a while ago and she asked me my weight in kilos. And I answered honestly, I don't know my weight in kilos. So, we're watching fireworks and she tells me that she has the conversion and she proceeds to tell me my weight in kilos. Then she converts her weight into pounds. She announces that she weighs 66 pounds. I shake my head and tell her that is not correct. And we laugh and argue for another hour and she just won't believe me when I say she doesn't weight 66 pounds! She had people come over and check the math. The math was correct, but the conversion was not. It was hilarious.

Last weekend

Last weekend we went to Bien Hoa for a surprise Birthday party for Brittany (Her birthday was actually yesterday).

It was good for all of us to be together. We got to talk a lot about next year (you're waiting on that blog, aren't you?) and what we're thinking. We sang karaoke, took pictures in front of a fan, got hit on by some older dudes who bought us all cokes, got our hair washed, surprised Brittany, and played games with their friends and students. Good trip.

I think they have better pictures on their cameras, but this will do until I steal from others.

Some things i'm learning

Random Facts and Opinions from this year

• Looks can be deceiving. Especially in pastries made in Asia.
• Squid needs to be chewed up more than you think it does.

• It's true. most everyone eats rice at least once every day, if not 2-3 times a day.
  
• I know a lot more children's songs than I thought I did


• It would be beneficial to label light switches, which side is on and which is off. That would help when the power goes off in the middle of the day, and comes back on in the middle of the night.


• Peanut butter is awesome. So are mint chocolate 'Back to Nature' cookies.


• Ants can get into anything. If you ever want to rob a bank, you should team up with some ants. They would find a way into the vault.


• Our apartment has no 13th floor. I've been walking to the roof for months, and I had no idea.


• Facebook and Skype are gifts from above. I don't think there's any other way to say that.


• I like taking off my shoes before i go inside. I might never stop doing this.


• A good fitting pair of jeans is such a wonderful thing. A wonderful thing that I plan on purchasing very very soon after I land on US soil. Shoes too. This is not a request for a package. I want to try these things on in a shop where the salesperson doesn't see me and exhale deeply, then start digging through boxes to search for the XXL.


• Learning Vietnamese is difficult. I should never have complained about Spanish.


• I have no problem buying ripped off dvds. And the fact that it doesn't bother me, bothers me a little.


• I am secretly worried that I am losing words from my vocabulary because I have to simplify so much for others to understand me. But sometimes I sing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and I feel better